This is our decade!

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back?"

Tolkien's characters Frodo & Sam in his epic trilogy, Lord of the Rings were certain of one thing as they continued their journey to destroy the ring...that life would never be the same. And although much of the story is based on the goal of destroying the ring, a large part of the story's plot are the internal conflicts within the characters that are not out rightly stated. Toward the last half of the trilogy Frodo was still unable to accept that life could not be the same, that too much had changed.  And as the story unfolds the spectator/reader is able to see how dynamic the characters become after facing much adversity.

What I am able to appreciate now, more than ever before..and after much reflection and deep thought, is how much the journey really matters more than the conquest. Mainly because a huge part OF  the conquest are the internal changes that occur within the character. As lameee as it sounds, or rather as predictable as it may be for me to relate to Frodo, I truly, truly do! Because anyone I've spoken to can tell you how much time I've spent time ranting about how different life will be when I return. But that isn't what i'm going to spend time writing about...because I don't think that way anymore!

I sat for a second a few months back and remembered how afraid I was to change because so many people had told me I would, and I figured, how much could I possibly change? And IF I changed, could I still go back to doing the same things I did before, sit on a couch and hang with the same people. And as I sit here today, I think... if I could travel back in time, I would face palm myself, because i'm thinking...OF COURSE I COULD go back and do the same things, and I know I WILL! Because, like in Tolkien's works of fiction he did not outright state that his characters had changed through narration,  it was simply shown that it had become embedded within them through their actions. They we're the same goofball hobbits from the Shire, but they're mindsets and perspectives on life were what had changed most of all. 

I recently started wondering why I was losing so much motivation to go back home and continue with the plan that I had set out for myself before leaving. My mother, more than anyone knows how much of a long-term goal-setter I am. I used to pat myself on the back in front of her to remind her how credible I am after accomplishing a goal I told her that I'd accomplish. And now I'm actually struggling to "see my future". Mainly because I really don't know where its going. And normally, I would freak out a little bit...start doing some research and figure out possibilities for my life...options! But I'm not, not a part of me is stressing....because I have that much faith in it [life that it].

It's because I feel so differently about it now...its crazzzzzy how different. I've gone a few places, seen a few things, but the greatest part of being abroad has been meeting people who continue to WOW me with their faith in life. I believed the true path to success was finishing college, getting an internship in my fourth year with a job, graduating, hoping to land a job in the internship I was working for, and then working my way up the ladder to success. And it's not a bad goal, its great really. But I'm just not sure its the goal for me. As I continue enter and live out the decade of my 20's, I've started to believe in something different. I've met people working in different countries, learning new languages, seeing the world, working for a greater cause, and being so happy that they're constructing their life differently. And I think its so beautiful. Lot's of people say their goal in life is to travel and that one day they plan to do this, or that. Now i'm realizing that TODAY is truly the time to do it. 

Now I've spent almost a year abroad, through a program with my university. And I have been largely supported by my parents (bless their beautiful hearts, hardworking hands, and minds), as well as a few loans. But never have I believed how possible it is for anyone, anyone!, to see the world and live their life out-of-the-box, no matter who you are. I know this because I've met so many interesting characters doing it without the support of anyone but themselves. How they do it? Well, I suppose it's something you'd have to figure out on your own, but I believe that is the beauty of it. 

We really do have our later years to grow old. And I hope I never spend my younger years doing that. I strive to make my parents and mentors proud. But I think it's important to make them proud by doing the things that maybe they did not have the chance or opportunity to do. To see new lands, help people in need, learn new languages, taste new foods and put ourselves in places where we've never been more afraid to be in (not too dangerous of course!) because its something SO different than what we know. Its something that will change us.

And yet, I'm still coping with my new mindset...juggling with the idea of whether its okay to think like this, but I figure that's normal? I never plan to lose ambition, that is not my goal. I just plan to embrace the beauty of my youth, which is something I hope for everyone.

Do what makes you happy, in the most responsible way possible. AND you are never too young, too poor, to incapable to see the SAHARA DESERT (but I can't promise it won't be challenging) so try to see it! :)

I know so many people are in the midst of finals, it's a time of true stress and anxiety. But don't forget that 20 years from now you won't remember if you screwed up a little on that test, (I am not condoning bad grades of course), you'll remember the challenge &  journey more than the conquest. Have faith that life will take its course, but put the right work into. This is our decade to do the shit we can tell our children about later. And later is for hoping they will do the same.